Posted by: malechallengemedia | March 2, 2009

Bettina Arndt promoting questionable ethics

When any of the 60 trillion cells in the body fail to communicate honestly health issues soon follow. Auto immune disease occurs when the body attacks itself – cancer is similar.

Since patterns replicate, from micro to macro, throughout the universe—and since the larger units depend on reliability (honesty) of the smaller units, I draw a parallel between the cells in the body and the ‘units’ or ‘cells’ on the global body.

I admit battling with my own dishonesty however there may be no battle more important. It’s a path with unlimited rewards—it may even be the ultimate spiritual journey! With deepening self honesty we find ourselves, we find the ‘authentic’ self; we can become more ‘integrated.’

Our ability to have harmonious relationships depends on our level of integration – honesty with self is a significant part of this integration. In other words we have to grow up.

In order for humanity to survive, let alone thrive; we need a critical mass of humans with deepening levels of INTEGRITY.

That is why Arndt’s following quote troubles me! A recent article in the Sydney Morning Herald quotes her as saying (with regard to sex in marriage or co-habitation)

“If the sex supply breaks down, then fidelity seems a totally unreasonable demand or expectation…. Adultery always spells disaster for a marriage, or so everybody seems to believe.”

Arndt does not believe this. Nor is she a believer in confession. If you do have an affair, she says, shut up about it: “So many people end up confessing to an affair, which strikes me as the ultimate stupidity . . . Telling doesn’t right the wrong: it adds to it.”

Here is what I know. When I lie I feel bad and my self esteem suffers—when this doesn’t happen it points to pathology. When spiritual leaders lie their communities fall apart.

When friends lie trust is eroded. With politicians, corporate leaders or lawyers—lying is usually disastrous.

When the 60 trillion cells in our bodies lie to each other we call it cancer. Actually every lie we tell may be recorded in our tissues, muscles, organs and bones. Perhaps that is a causal factor of cancer.

I would not seek Bettina out as my sexual counselor because if she promotes lying how could I trust her to be honest? Would you?

Like many of my age I slept around in the seventies and eighties.  I was cool—I talked it up. But, as most do in the end, I learned it was impossible to sleep around without lying—people found out—people got hurt.

But perhaps the biggest casualty was me.  My lying trashed my self esteem – and I suffered as all those with low self esteem do.

The Male Challenge empowers boys to grow into men with integrity. Visit

 “Integrating ourselves is an essential step in bringing about the harmonious integration of humankind. The larger the gap in a person’s relationship with himself, the shakier the foundation on which he can build solid bridges to other people.  (Andrew Schmookler)

Arndt’s article can be found at


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