Posted by: malechallengemedia | October 19, 2016

Trumping Misogyny

Perhaps there is one positive to come out of the Donald Trump debacle.

Trumps abhorrent behaviour shines a spotlight on the magnitude of misogyny – hatred of women.

And the would-be First Lady, Ivanka Trump’s defence of his behaviour, indicates the extent to which women have been socialised to accept misogyny.

It is a conversation that needs to be had and repeated and had again until real progress is made

Clueless Trump divorces his behaviour from the wider issues impacting women and girls – issues such as rape, domestic violence, trafficking of women, pay inequity, porn, poverty and more.

Trump’s defensive responses to his obscene sexist rants reveal the extent of his delusion. He actually thinks that he loves women – albeit beautiful women.

But the big teaching from this spectacle is that Trump is not alone. His behaviour is widespread amongst men and as we see from the women who cling on to the rich and powerful, condoned by some women.

Equally shocking are the dialogues on radio and TV where men say they have not been exposed to other males who talked or acted in this manner.

What rubbish – what wholesale denial. I don’t know what universe these men live in but in my 70 years as an Australian I have accrued many examples of poison men trash talking about women.

I first heard the degrading conversations amongst my peers in the schoolyards of country Victoria in the 60s – it shocked me deeply. Later I heard similar conversations in the surf club I loved and at university – it created conflict in me. I have heard similar portrayals of women in many of the male groups I associated with in both Australia and America.

One day in the 80s, while working as a ski instructor at Perisher Valley, NSW, I encountered a young woman sitting in the snow crying. She had been thrown out of the ski lodge by a charismatic man I knew who had said if you don’t ‘f..  then ‘f’… off. Night was falling and she had nowhere to go.

Turns out he had promised her accommodation on the mountain and assumed he would be sexually rewarded.

On another occasion I spoke with a ski instructor colleague who stated he had had a bad day how he would find some young snow bunny and ‘f’ the hell out of her to get rid of his anger.

In the 90s, while working as a white water river guide in Oregon, late I found myself in the middle of a 12 man bucks party. The evening became ugly. It impacted me so deeply that I wrote about it.

The story, Sexism on the River, was picked up by some men’s magazines and a number of feminist groups. As a result of the Trump dialogues I have decided to revive the story.

But there is more. My wife, Grace Gawler, a physically beautiful woman who has spent almost 41 years working and caring for cancer patients, has endured a lifetime of sexist abuse from men in many countries she has worked in. Some years ago, after giving a rousing speech about breast cancer in Eumundi, Queensland, Grace was sexually heckled as she walked past the Eumundi Pub.

That this grandmother of five and tireless cancer worker should be subjected to such filth is beyond the tenants of a sane world and a just democracy. I wanted to sweep these filth mongers into a large crevice and leave them there – such was my anger and helplessness in a situation

As a lifetime outdoor adventurer, I have spent very little time in pubs and sporting clubs, however every time I do I am confronted with the same misogynistic rants – their derision is palpable.

In 2003, I worked with one of Australia’s top Olympic lead teams. The team performance had been reduced by the prevalence of sexist attitudes and actions by male members of the group. The group shall remain anonymous for confidentiality reasons but many are known to most Australians.

Even as I was being briefed for the job, at the Australian sports commission in Canberra, I detected the ‘vibe’ the nudge-nudge, wink-wink, old boys club vibe’ about the very topic we were discussing.

I applaud Adam Goode’s stance against racism in his sport. I would like to see the same energy applied to misogyny and sexism. Undoubtedly prominent sportsmen have a role to play in this awareness raising campaign.

My story, sexism on the river and another story (whose link I provide below) about three female river guides working for the American National Parks on the Grand Canyon, are indicative of the barriers faced when decent people try to tackle misogyny and sexism.

In my case I was alone in the wilderness with 13 other men, most were younger and bigger than I was and some carried hunting knives – I would not have been surprised if there was a hand gun or two.

The three female National Parks river guides on the Grand Canyon were confronted by the old boys club which fought hard to maintain the status quo – the ancient code that gave man ultimate power over women and children.

In Australia, we’ve seen misogyny and sexism rife in just about every corner of our society – the defence forces, sport and Olympic sports, the ambulance service, amongst doctors and surgeons in the medical profession, and as so accurately described by Peta Credlin, in government.

It took a lot of guts for me to make a stand against 13 men in the Oregon wilderness. I’m no hero I was shaking and upset and did not sleep that night. But I did make a stand.

I ask decent men everywhere to join together to stamp out what is one of the world’s great barriers to human equality and functional democracy.

 

https://malechallengemedia.com/2010/02/14/sexism-on-the-river-taking-a-stand-against-the-male-tribal-code/

 

https://www.outsideonline.com/2063726/grand-canyon-sexual-harassment-what-happens-river-stays-river

http://www.msn.com/en-au/news/australia/trump-talk-occurs-in-canberra-says-credlin/ar-BBxe3rI?li=AAavLaF&ocid=spartandhp

This article called Great Outdoors Therapy  – Prostate Mates   ran in the Gold Coast Bulletin 28-12-2011 Gold Coast, Qld, Australia

The outdoors component of the program mentioned in the article will be led by Pip Cornall and supervised by institute director Grace Gawler and team advisor Dr Bruce Whelan.

“PIP Cornall is about to go where no man has gone before. He’s taking prostate cancer support to the outdoors. Whether it is fishing, camping or having a beer, he believes it is the perfect opportunity to support affected men in an environment which eliminates the stereotype of a therapist’s chair.

Rail freight giant QR National thinks there is merit to this world-first program designed to be piloted on the Gold Coast in early March and has donated $16,800.

The Prostate Mates program will be run through the Grace Gawler Institute, a local company with a long history of providing emotional support to cancer victims.

Mr Cornall joined the institute as a director after Ms Gawler, the institute founder, read an article he wrote while living in America on his work with men and boys in prison and taking them into the wilderness for therapy. He was also a physical education teacher on the Gold Coast in the mid 1970s.

Mr Cornall is hoping the Prostate Mates program will become a pioneer for prostate support groups across the world.
“Men would rather have a beer and go fishing so we thought, why not run with that trend,” he said.

“It’s taking therapy out of the office.” Mr Cornall said he planned to run the first session in March as either afternoon fishing on the Broadwater or camping on North Stradbroke Island.

“My role is to help men share their deepest fears in things like, if they have had treatment and are now impotent,” he said.
“When someone is no longer pretending to be strong it frees up their energy and helps the healing.”
Mr Cornall said 19,403 new cases of prostate cancer were diagnosed each year in Australia.”

My notes: The prostate diagnosies compare with about 14,234 cases of bowell cancer, 12,670 cases of breast cancer and melanoma of the skin (10,342 cases)  in the same time  frame. – Pip Cornall

Posted by: malechallengemedia | September 12, 2011

Cancer Recovery for Men the Smart Way – Yoga for Trauma

The Grace Gawler Institute offers specialised yoga programs to help people recover from cancer – such as lymphatic drainage poses and stretches, easy breathing routines to reduce stress.

Patients dealing with cancer also deal with varying levels of depression, stress and trauma but new studies show that people suffering from PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder) can find real relief with yoga.

In a study published in the Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, a prominent PTSD expert found that a group of female patients who completed eight yoga classes showed significantly more improvement in symptoms—including the frequency of intrusive thoughts and the severity of jangled nerves—than a similar group that had eight sessions of group therapy.

The study also reported that yoga can improve heart-rate variability, a key indicator of a person’s ability to calm herself. The study’s most striking findings were patients’ own descriptions of how their lives changed, says the author, Bessel van der Kolk, a professor of psychiatry at the Boston University School of Medicine and medical director of the Trauma Center, a clinic and training facility in Brookline, Massachusetts. Van der Kolk, who has studied trauma since the 1970s, is considered a pioneer in the field.

 

Posted by: malechallengemedia | February 11, 2011

ABC – Life Matters – The Rite Journey

Life Matters featured a program about ‘The Rite Journey’ a school based program that uses ceremony to help boys, and now girls, prepare to become adults.

It’s designed to help overcome the lack of rituals in the lives of modern teenagers.

Reporter Annie Hastwell joined South Australian teacher Andrew Lines and his students as they farewelled their childhood at one of the group’s final ceremonies.

Andrew and I are currently talking of forming an alliance of males wanting to help our young boys become fantastic men.

Be sure to view my eBooks on this topic – click here and to vist my website click here

To listen to the ABC program click here

Posted by: malechallengemedia | January 21, 2011

eBooks – Helping Boys Become Fantastic Men

A Modern Technology for Mentoring and Coaching

In the 90’s psychologist, Steve Biddulph wrote Manhood. The best seller book raised awareness of masculinity issues, helped many men make positive changes and was soon followed by Raising Boys and other books to help parents raise their children…

In the ‘noughties,’ the discussion about boys, men and masculinity was further boosted by  New Zealander Celia Lashlie in her book ‘He’ll be Ok: Growing Gorgeous Boys into Good Men.

Sustainable Masculinity eBook

It’s 2011—the cyber-age. Consistent with his goals to promote healthier forms of masculinity and recognising the power of the internet to impact social change, author Pip Cornall, a former PE teacher and juvenile justice mediator in Australia and the USA, has released two new eBooks. The eBooks are literally  brimming with animations, videos, websites, films and online resources all designed for adults who want to help boys become fantastic men.

Keith Austin, a sports writer for the Sydney Morning Herald, in 2007,  wrote of Pip’s earlier paperbacks – ‘In common with Steve Biddulph, Cornall believes it is time to change the overly macho face of Australian masculinity.

Using the power of animation, video, film and web resources, Cornall’s eBooks, at about a third the price of a paperback, can be extremely useful tools for parents, grandparents, teacher coaches and community workers across Australia.

1. Sustainable Masculinity

A Toolkit for Men, Women and Grandparents – Helping Boys Grow into Fantastic Men

2. Kicking a Goal for Masculinity

A Toolkit for Coaches, Teachers, Mentors, Parents/Grandparents for Helping Boys who love Sport Grow into Fantastic Men…

The eBook has a sporting focus and encourages sporting communities to use sport  as a platform not just for winning but for teaching character qualities that help boys become the men our communities are demanding.

The eBooks can be downloaded online for only $4.99. Please spread the word. In the digital age viral promotion through your email contacts can become a force which can reduce male violence and help boys become great men – your assistance assist large scale social change

Click here to visit the shop – you’ll be diverted to our secure shop at the Institute

 

Sustainable Masculinity – A Toolkit for Men, Women and Grandparents
Helping Boys Grow into Fantastic Men

This eBook contains videos and animations and an unbeatable resource catalogue with web links and more videos featuring some of the world leaders in gender study and violence prevention. These videos are suitable for adults to explore as teaching tools with young males.

Sustainable Masculinity eBook

This great eBook can be downloaded online for only $4.99. Please spread the word. In the digital age viral promotion through your email contacts can become a force which can end male violence and help boys become good men – your assistance can help create large scale social change

My dream is that all boys can become men who are connected to the ‘global village.’

Boyish self centred-ness can then shift to global-centred-ness, where boys become men who prioritize the  protection of all life on this planet – men, women, children, all races, all plants all animals, the bio-sphere and eco-systems.

Click here to visit the shop – you’ll be diverted to our secure shop at the Institute

Kicking a Goal for Masculinity – A Toolkit for Coaches, Teachers, Mentors, Parents and Grandparents for Helping Boys who love sport Grow into fantastic Men

Sport was originally used by many cultures to ‘build character’

This eBook has a sporting focus and encourages sporting communities to use sport  as a platform not just for winning but for teaching character qualities that help boys become the men our communities are demanding. The book is rich with great sporting stories, videos and animations and wonderful resources featuring men who are great mentors and role models for young males

My eBook encourages a sports-led evolution towards a healthy masculinity impacting the wider community. A Toolkit for Parents, Grandparents, Teachers and Coaches – Helping boys who love sport grow into fantastic men. This 59 page eBook contains priceless information, videos and animations plus an unbeatable resource catalogue.

“If you have read books by Steve Biddulph – you will love these interactive eBooks. Help spread the word so our young men can develop emotional intelligence for better health & better relationships.”  Grace Gawler

Click here to visit the shop – you’ll be diverted to our secure shop at the Institute

Much masculinity is learned, it is a societal construct that changes with time and from culture to culture—different to maleness which is biological and fixed. Today with fewer males in school teaching, with single parent families common, with visual media widespread, masculinity is significantly influenced by sportsmen’s behaviour—on and off the field.

My book encourages sportsmen to explore what a healthy masculinity looks like, what “Being a Real Man in Sport” involves, and how to model that to boys and young men.
Alex Karras encapsulates the book’s philosophy. He said: ‘It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more “manhood” to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.’

Confusion about Masculinity: In today’s fast moving society, there are many confusing and mixed messages about how to be a “real man.” This is magnified in sport, be it at school, community or national level. Male programming is a root cause of very large societal problems, from war, rape, gang violence, sexism and domestic violence.

Language in Sport: The language of sport is hard and filled with insults suggesting that a boy who is not tough enough, who does not live up to the masculine mystique, is really a girl or homosexual. The language heard by young boys, underpins many male attitudes.

Machismo and Misogyny: Sadly Australian men are known overseas as macho and misogynistic. Many Australian women say they would never marry an Australian man; describing them as arrogant, boorish, loutish, unconscious, sexist, racist, violent, un-evolved, even Neanderthal. My book encourages sportsmen to challenges those images
.
The Sport-Alcohol Connection: Australians are high alcohol consumers–male programming in sport reinforces the old myth that a big drinker makes a real man. Men commonly boast about their drinking; our young men think it normal to drink 30 beers at a party. The terrible consequences include; rampant alcoholism, road deaths, family dysfunction, serious health problems and violence—domestic and sexual, to name a few. It is high time to debunk the sport influence on male programming around alcohol.

A Better World: Sportsmen have the potential to shape and influence the lives of boys and young men who are often confused about masculinity and are searching for positive role-models. Sportsmen have an opportunity not only to provide those role-models for boys and young men but they can help shape masculinity for the betterment of our local and global community.

Great Role Models: My book has stories from famous sportsmen who are doing that including, Alex Karras, Kris Massie, Troy Jaques, Jackson Katz and Joe

Finally the players themselves are making a stand about racist comments in Australia football codes, especially AFL and NRL. Heads have rolled and people have been sacked. Great!

Victims of racial vilification have had enough and so they should. I support their stand. This is also a great opportunity to address sexism in sport.

The male players feeling the pain of racist slurs now understand how women  demeaned by men have felt for years.

What about it guys? Racism is prehistoric and so is sexism. Can we put the same enthusiasm into stopping calling our football mates when they egage in sexism?

I sincerely hope so – that is how humanity evolves.  See my blog – Why I wrote ‘Kicking a Goal for Masculinity’

https://malechallengemedia.wordpress.com/2010/06/02/why-i-wrote-kicking-a-goal-for-masculinity/

See also the links to …. (below)

Andrew Johns quits NSW over Inglis racial slur

NSW’s State of Origin II preparations are in crisis after assistant coach Andrew Johns stood down, admitting he made a racial slur against Queensland superstar Greg Inglis.

http://www.theroar.com.au/2010/06/13/andrew-johns-quits-nsw-over-inglis-racial-slur/

Racism fight ongoing: Goodes

SYDNEY Swans co-captain Adam Goodes says AFL players need to continue their fight to stamp out racism from all levels of the game and sport in general.

But rather than condemn those responsible for such slurs, he said it was more important to educate the people involved.

http://www.afl.com.au/news/newsarticle/tabid/208/newsid/96293/default.aspx

Posted by: malechallengemedia | June 8, 2010

All Men Choose the Path they Walk – Archie Roach

In my last post I mentioned my involvement with the Lakota traditions and the Sweat Lodge path in the USA but sad to say, I’ve no experience with Australian Aboriginal traditions and wisdom. So this is a small beginning for me.

Archie Roach (born 1956, Mooroopna, Victoria) is an Australian musician. A singer, songwriter and guitarist, he survived a turbulent upbringing to become a powerful voice for indigenous Australians, a storyteller in the tradition of his ancestors, and a nationally popular and respected artist.

Amazingly, when he was being born, I lived in nearby in Shepparton, just across the Goulburn River. I was ten at the time. We had one Aboriginal boy in my class but I never got to know him. I knew he lived in a ‘shanty town’ across the river. They had encampments by the local rubbish tip and I remember feeling ‘bad’ for them.

I’d like more males to benefit from Aboriginal traditions and wisdom. I’ll be featuring ‘manhood teaching stores from a variety of cultures in coming posts.

Archie was one of the ‘stolen generation’ and his  amazing life story can be found at – http://home.vicnet.net.au/~aar/stolen.htm

The video clip features Archie’s song, ‘All Men Chose the Path they Walk and is from the excellent movie ‘Tracker’.

The theme is consistent of my work of helping boys become good men and helping males to become more conscious. The story of two wolves, featured a few posts ago, tells of the battle inside each of us – the battle between good and evil. The one that wins is the one we feed the most.  We get to choose . The song -‘All Men Choose the Path they Walk’ is therefore very appropriate.

It’s quite simple on one level – be kind to each other – look after the planet. But that said – it’s not easy to achieve – mastering manhood is not for the faint hearted -takes lots of work and lots of courage.

Enjoy!

Posted by: malechallengemedia | June 8, 2010

A letter from Chief Arvol Looking Horse

During my years in USA I attended many sweat lodges and learned to pray in the Lakota way. I owe a lot to their wisdom and so post this prayer by Chief  Arvol Looking Horse. Be sure to watch the video below

A letter from Chief Arvol Looking Horse

A Great Urgency

To All World Religious and Spiritual Leaders

My Relatives,

Time has come to speak to the hearts of our Nations and their Leaders.  I ask you this from the bottom of my heart, to come together from the Spirit of your Nations in prayer.

We, from the heart of Turtle Island, have a great message for the World; we are guided to speak from all the White Animals showing their sacred color, which have been signs for us to pray for the sacred life of all things.  As I am sending this message to you, many Animal Nations are being threatened, those that swim, those that crawl, those that fly, and the plant Nations, eventually all will be affected from the oil disaster in the Gulf.

The dangers we are faced with at this time are not of spirit. The catastrophe that has happened with the oil spill which looks like the bleeding of Grandmother Earth, is made by human mistakes, mistakes that we cannot afford to continue to make.

I asked, as Spiritual Leaders, that we join together, united in prayer with the whole of our Global Communities. My concern is these serious issues will continue to worsen, as a domino effect that our Ancestors have warned us of in their Prophecies.

I know in my heart there are millions of people that feel our united prayers for the sake of our Grandmother Earth are long overdue.  I believe we as Spiritual people must gather ourselves and focus our thoughts and prayers to allow the healing of the many wounds that have been inflicted on the Earth. As we honor the Cycle of Life, let us call for Prayer circles globally to assist in healing Grandmother Earth (our Unc’I Maka).

We ask for prayers that the oil spill, this bleeding, will stop. That the winds stay calm to assist in the work. Pray for the people to be guided in repairing this mistake, and that we may also seek to live in harmony, as we make the choice to change the destructive path we are on.

As we pray, we will fully understand that we are all connected.  And that what we create can have lasting effects on all life.

So let us unite spiritually, All Nations, All Faiths, One Prayer.  Along with this immediate effort, I also ask to please remember June 21st, World Peace and Prayer Day/Honoring Sacred Sites day. Whether it is a natural site, a temple, a church, a synagogue or just your own sacred space, let us make a prayer for all life, for good decision making by our Nations, for our children’s future and well-being, and the generations to come.

Onipikte (that we shall live),

Chief Arvol Looking Horse
19th generation Keeper of the Sacred White Buffalo Calf Pipe

Older Posts »

Categories