Posted by: malechallengemedia | April 29, 2010

Sustainable Masculinity – Becoming a Real Man

Modern concepts of masculinity are predominantly informed by the media and most of that is fantasy. There are in circulation today, many age old myths about what makes a real man. Many are sheer nonsense!

Ironically to become real men we have to get real; we have to become authentic and that is rarely portrayed in modern media. To be authentic is to be in touch with the parts of ourselves that we are cut off from.

Our socialization as men usually makes that very difficult. In particular, Australian men are subjected to a very macho form of socialization which is well recognised outside the country. As we restore our feeling abilities and grow inner awareness we can be better guided by our own innate intelligence; our true inner nature.

Positive change can be as easy as settling into one’s authentic self —not the self that false male cultures ask us to be.
The Wounded Feeling Function

For reasons that served us in the past men have been trained to suppress their feeling abilities. Renowned Jungian analyst, Robert Johnson calls it the wounded feeling function.
An unhealed feeling function is dangerous; it is a destroyer of the feminine and all things of beauty. It is a destroyer for the man and all those he loves because a man needs an inner balance of masculine and feminine energies. These are known as yang and yin energies in the East and need to be balanced in all humans regardless of gender.
The feeling function is a mid brain or limbic brain function. It is here that emotional intelligence the foundation of good relationships is located. Limbic-brain-challenged people try to fill their emptiness with addictions. Drugs, alcohol, obsessive compulsions, overwork, adrenaline sports, relationships, sex compulsion, computer games, gambling, TV, and violence are ways they try to fill their holes; which of course is impossible.
Men with unhealthy feeling functions tend to addictive behaviour because they have little sense of meaning and are cut off from their authentic selves; witness the high rates of suicide among Australian males. Therefore in order for men to become authentic they must heal their feeling function.

A real man is an authentic man; a man with a healthy feeling function.
I know this is possible because I have reinvented myself and as I became more healed I have been a catalyst to help other men heal and as I healed I became less moody, more joyful and more humorous.

And wouldn’t you know it—after I did all this growth work a most wonderful woman came into my life. I found the love I always wanted.

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