Posted by: malechallengemedia | April 24, 2010

NVC – Marshall Rosenberg – 10 things we can do for peace

While living in the USA I regularly attended NVC (non-violent communication) workshops led by Marshall Rosenberg (See his Video below) He’s a great elder male and I like to think I’ve stood on his shoulders and taken his work a little further. I’ve done some workshops entitled ‘Beyond NVC’

Unfortunately I’ve also found people have used his NVC methods to win arguments which defeats the purpose so we need to be aware of that tendency in ourselves.

Here are ten behaviours we can do to improve our relationships with self and others.

10 Things We Can Do to Contribute to Internal, Interpersonal, and Organizational Peace

(1) Spend some time each day quietly reflecting on how we would like to relate to ourselves and others.

(2) Remember that all human beings have the same needs. (See Max Neef’s Nine Needs)

(3) Check our intention to see if we are as interested in others getting their needs met as our own.

(4) When asking someone to do something, check first to see if we are making a request or a demand.

(5) Instead of saying what we DON’T want someone to do, say what we DO want the person to do.

(6) Instead of saying what we want someone to BE, say what action we’d like the person to take that we hope will help the person be that way.

(7) Before agreeing or disagreeing with anyone’s opinions, try to tune in to what the person is feeling and needing.

(8) Instead of saying “No,” say what need of ours prevents us from saying “Yes.”

(9) If we are feeling upset, think about what need of ours is not being met, and what we could do to meet it, instead of thinking about what’s wrong with others or ourselves.

(10) Instead of praising someone who did something we like, express our gratitude by telling the person what need of ours that action met.

The Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC) would like there to be a critical mass of people using Nonviolent Communication language so all people will get their needs met and resolve their conflicts peacefully.

2001, revised 2004 Gary Baran & CNVC. The right to freely duplicate this document is hereby granted.

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