Posted by: malechallengemedia | May 9, 2010

The new male paradigm – embracing positive change

Extract from Sustainable Masculinity by Pip Cornall

One of the main reasons men are learning to change is that of improved relationships with their partners, their children and their workmates.
As men learn emotional competencies they are more sought after as companions and confidents; attracting quality friends because they are more authentic and compassionate.

Numerous studies show that the happiest people are those with the best relationships. Usually this requires good emotional competencies which form the basis of good partnership skills. Above all, these people are happy with themselves. I’ve certainly found this to be true for my self.
All positive change requires a shift in personal consciousness first. I define consciousness as an awareness and congruency occurring across the five aspects that comprise a human being; namely our physical, mental, emotional, energetic and spiritual layers. Becoming more conscious as men, means that we are less influenced by our unconscious parts. The unconscious is responsible for many of the choices humans make. Literally we are not in charge; we are not running our own show. The unconscious needs to be factored in because it can destroy all the good we do. (Bill Clinton, Tiger Woods Syndrome)
Therefore it is vital to maintain constant vigilance and congruency (integrity) between these aspects of ourselves; that is consciousness in action. Equally important is the congruent relationship between all aspects of ourselves to other people and the world we live in. There should be transparency and flow between all our parts.
When there is not, that is called compartmentalization. One example would be a gang boss kindly playing with his wife and child while ordering the extermination of a rival gang on the phone. Most men learn to compartmentalize to some extent. Our job requires courageous self-examination to see if we walk our talk, if there is flow, consistency and transparency between all our layers.
I am writing this series of booklets because I believe in the innate intelligence of people; so do I believe in men. Our fathers and grandfathers achieved amazing things against all odds. We can as well but today’s challenge is more complex, both local and global, requiring a different type of courage; one arising from and solidly centred in our inner congruence mentioned above.
In this book we’ll explore the needs for some new male norms (values) and consider them within a framework of sustainability. Today many men are working to change themselves and help others which is re-affirming of our potential to create a global culture of peace; re-affirming humanity’s ability to adapt and survive.

For men this work is inspiring; re-inventing ourselves by becoming authentic and then helping other men and boys to change one at a time is like adding a dropper of dye to a beaker of water, drop by drop, until suddenly all the water turns the same colour, the colour, a metaphor for the new male paradigm, a true partnership paradigm — partnership with men, women and children of all races, partnership with the environment.


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