Malechallengemedia's Blog

Michael Flood from the ANU in Canberra and I have conferred on Male issues for about a decade and I respect his academic perspective. Michael’s website, XY Online features a huge resource bibliography on male and gender research. If you are looking for articles I recommend his site.

The following is an extract from the longer paper (Link to full PDF of article is below)

Sport, athletes, and violence against women – Flood, Michael, and Sue Dyson.

Allegations of sexual assault and harassment by rugby league and Australian Football League (AFL) players in 2004 and 2005 put the link between sport and violence against women firmly on the public agenda. There was widespread media coverage of the allegations and substantial community debate. In response to these allegations and the issues surrounding them, both rugby league and AFL codes initiated education programs among their players.

In recent months, there have been further controversies over sexual assaults, domestic violence, drug abuse, and other forms of anti-social behaviour by professional sportsmen. These have fuelled community perceptions that some sporting codes involve sexist subcultures in which ‘boys behaving badly’ is normal, if not celebrated. So, what do we actually know about the links between sport and violence against women? In this article, we review the evidence on athletes’ involvement in violence against women, their agreement with violence-supportive attitudes, and the risk factors for violence associated with sport in particular. This review is excerpted from a longer report written for the AFL by the Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society at La Trobe University. The longer report involves a literature review, an assessment of best practice in education, and recommendations for future violence prevention efforts.

“The codes of mateship and loyalty in tightly knit male groups in some sports, although valuable for teamwork, may both intensify sexism and encourage individuals to allow group loyalties to override their personal integrity.’

The full article can be found at – http://www.xyonline.net/sites/default/files/Flood%20Dyson,%20Sport%20and%20violence%20against%20women%2007.pdf

Citation: Flood, Michael, and Sue Dyson. (2007). Sport, athletes, and violence against women. NTV Journal, Summer, pp. 37-46.

I’m not aligned with any one religion. I prefer to read widely and learn from what resonates with me. I don’t therefore agree with all the following points but I feature them here because I am quite impressed by much of the material and acknowledge that if our young men had good mentorship along the lines of this article the world would be a much better place.

For Guys Only: The Marks of Manhood by Dr. Albert Mohler

1. Spiritual maturity sufficient to lead a wife and children.

2. Personal maturity sufficient to be a responsible husband and father.

3. Economic maturity sufficient to hold an adult job and handle money.

4. Physical maturity sufficient to work and protect a family.

5. Sexual maturity sufficient to marry and fulfill God’s purposes.

6. Moral maturity sufficient to lead as example of righteousness.

7. Ethical maturity sufficient to make responsible decisions.

8. Worldview maturity sufficient to understand what is really important

9. Relational maturity sufficient to understand and respect others.

10. Social maturity sufficient to make a contribution to society.

11. Verbal maturity sufficient to communicate and articulate as a man.

12. Character maturity sufficient to demonstrate courage under fire

13. Biblical maturity sufficient to lead at some level in the church.

When does a boy become a man? The answer to this must go far beyond biology and chronological age. As defined in the Bible, manhood is a functional reality, demonstrated in a man’s fulfillment of responsibility and leadership. With this in mind, let me suggest thirteen marks of biblical manhood. The achievement of these vital qualities marks the emergence of a man who will demonstrate true biblical masculinity.

1. Spiritual maturity sufficient to lead a wife and children.

The Bible is clear about a man’s responsibility to exercise spiritual maturity and spiritual leadership. Of course, this spiritual maturity takes time to develop, and it is a gift of the Holy Spirit working within the life of the believer. The disciplines of the Christian life, including prayer and serious Bible study, are among the means God uses to mold a boy into a man and to bring spiritual maturity into the life of one who is charged to lead a wife and family. This spiritual leadership is central to the Christian vision of marriage and family life. A man’s spiritual leadership is not a matter of dictatorial power, but of firm and credible spiritual leadership and influence. A man must be ready to lead his wife and his children in a way that will honor God, demonstrate godliness, inculcate Christian character and lead his family to desire Christ and to seek God’s glory. Spiritual maturity is a mark of true Christian manhood, and a spiritually immature man is, in at least this crucial sense, spiritually just a boy.

2. Personal maturity sufficient to be a responsible husband and father.

True masculinity is not a matter of exhibiting supposedly masculine characteristics devoid of the context of responsibility. In the Bible, a man is called to fulfill his role as husband and father. Unless granted the gift of celibacy for gospel service, the Christian boy is to aim for marriage and fatherhood. This is assuredly a counter-cultural assertion, but the role of husband and father is central to manhood. Marriage is unparalleled in its effect on men, as it channels their energies and directs their responsibilities to the devoted covenant of marriage and the grace-filled civilization of the family. They must aspire to be the kind of man a Christian woman would gladly marry and children will trust, respect, and obey.

3. Economic maturity sufficient to hold an adult job and handle money.

Advertisers and marketers know where to aim their messages — directly at adolescent boys and young men. This particular segment of the population is inordinately attracted to material goods, popular entertainment, sporting events and other consumer options. The portrait of young manhood made popular in the media and presented as normal through entertainment is characterized by economic carelessness, self-centeredness and laziness. A real man knows how to hold a job, handle money with responsibility and take care of the needs of his wife and family. A failure to develop economic maturity means that young men often float from job to job, and take years to “find themselves” in terms of career and vocation. Once again, an extended adolescence marks a huge segment of today’s young male population. Slothfulness, laziness and economic carelessness are marks of immaturity. A real man knows how to earn, manage and respect money. A Christian man understands the danger that comes from the love of money, and fulfills his responsibility as a Christian steward.

4. Physical maturity sufficient to work and protect a family.

Unless afflicted by injury or illness, a boy should develop the physical maturity that, by stature and strength, marks recognizable manhood. Of course, men come in many sizes and demonstrate different levels of physical strength, but common to all men is a maturity, through which a man demonstrates his masculinity by movement, confidence and strength. A man must be ready to put his physical strength on the line to protect his wife and children and to fulfill his God-assigned tasks. A boy must be taught to channel his developing strength and emerging size into a self-consciousness of responsibility, recognizing that adult strength is to be combined with adult responsibility and true maturity.

5. Sexual maturity sufficient to marry and fulfill God’s purposes.

Even as the society celebrates sex in every form and at every age, the true Christian man practices sexual integrity, avoiding pornography, fornication, all forms of sexual promiscuity and corruption. He understands the danger of lust, but rejoices in the sexual capacity and reproductive power God has put within him, committing himself to find a wife, and to earn her love, trust and admiration — and eventually to win her hand in marriage. It’s critical that men respect this incredible gift, and to protect this gift until, within the context of holy marriage, they are able to fulfill this gift, love their wives, and look to God’s gift of children. Male sexuality separated from the context and integrity of marriage is an explosive and dangerous reality. The boy must understand, even as he travels through the road of puberty and an awakened sexuality, that he is accountable to God for his stewardship of this great gift.

6. Moral maturity sufficient to lead as example of righteousness.

Stereotypical behavior on the part of young males is, in the main, marked by recklessness, irresponsibility and worse. As a boy grows into manhood, he must develop moral maturity as he aspires to righteousness, learning to think like a Christian, act like a Christian and show others how to do the same. The Christian man is to be an example to others, teaching by both precept and example. Of course, this requires the exercise of responsible moral reasoning. True moral education begins with a clear understanding of moral standards, but must move to the higher level of moral reasoning by which a young man learns how biblical principles are translated into godly living and how the moral challenges of his day must be met with the truths revealed in God’s inerrant and infallible word.

7. Ethical maturity sufficient to make responsible decisions.

To be a man is to make decisions. One of the most fundamental tasks of leadership is decision-making. The indecisiveness of so many contemporary males is evidence of a stunted manhood. Of course, a man does not rush to a decision without thought, consideration or care, but a man does put himself on the line in making a decision — and making it stick. This requires an extension of moral responsibility into mature ethical decision-making that brings glory to God, is faithful to God’s word and is open to moral scrutiny. A real man knows how to make a decision and live with its consequences — even if that means that he must later acknowledge that he has learned by making a bad decision, and then by making the appropriate correction.

8. Worldview maturity sufficient to understand what is really important.

An inversion of values marks our postmodern age, and the predicament of modern manhood is made all the more perplexing by the fact that many men lack the capacity of consistent worldview thinking. For the Christian, this is doubly tragic, for our Christian discipleship must be demonstrated in the development of a Christian mind. The Christian man must understand how to interpret and evaluate issues across the spectrum of politics, economics, morality, entertainment, education and a seemingly endless list of other fields. The absence of consistent biblical worldview thinking is a key mark of spiritual immaturity. A boy must learn how to translate Christian truth into genuine Christian thinking. He must learn how to defend biblical truth before his peers and in the public square, and he must acquire the ability to extend Christian thinking, based on biblical principles, to every arena of life.

9. Relational maturity sufficient to understand and respect others.

Psychologists now talk of “emotional intelligence,” or EQ, as a major factor in personal development. While the world has given much attention to IQ, EQ is just as important. Individuals who lack the ability to relate to others are destined to fail at some of life’s most significant challenges and will not fulfill some of their most important responsibilities and roles. By nature, many boys are inwardly directed. While girls learn how to read emotional signals and connect, many boys lack the capacity to do so, and seemingly fail to understand the absence of these skills. While a man is to demonstrate emotional strength, constancy and steadfastness, he must be able to relate to his wife, his children, his peers, his colleagues and a host of others in a way that demonstrates respect, understanding and appropriate empathy. This will not be learned by playing video games and by entering into the privatized world experienced by many male adolescents.

10. Social maturity sufficient to make a contribution to society.

While the arena of the home is an essential and inescapable focus of a man’s responsibility, he is also called out of the home into the workplace and the larger world as a witness, and as one who will make a contribution to the common good. God has created human beings as social creatures, and even though our ultimate citizenship is in heaven, we must also fulfill our citizenship on earth. A boy must learn to fulfill a political responsibility as a citizen, and a moral responsibility as a member of a human community. The Christian man bears a civilizational responsibility, and boys must be taught to see themselves as shapers of the society even as the church is identified by our Lord as both salt and light. Similarly, a Christian man must learn how to relate to unbelievers, both as witness and as fellow citizens of an earthly kingdom.

11. Verbal maturity sufficient to communicate and articulate as a man.

A man must be able to speak, to be understood and to communicate in a way that will honor God and convey God’s truth to others. Beyond the context of conversation, a boy must learn how to speak before larger groups, overcoming the natural intimidation and fear that comes from looking at a crowd, opening one’s mouth, and projecting words. Though not all men will become public speakers, every man should have the ability to take his ground, frame his words, and make his case when truth is under fire and when belief and conviction must be translated into argument.

12. Character maturity sufficient to demonstrate courage under fire.

The literature of manhood is replete with stories of courage, bravery and audacity. At least, that’s the way it used to be. Now, with manhood both minimalized and marginalized by cultural elites, ideological subversion and media confusion, we must recapture a commitment to courage that is translated into the real-life challenges faced by the Christian man. At times, this quality of courage is demonstrated when a man risks his own life in defense of others, especially his wife and children, but also anyone who is in need of rescue. More often, this courage is demonstrated in taking a stand under hostile fire, refusing to succumb to the temptation of silence and standing as a model and example to others, who will then be encouraged to stand their own ground. In these days, biblical manhood requires great courage. The prevailing ideologies and worldviews of this age are inherently hostile to Christian truth and are corrosive to Christian faithfulness. It takes great courage for a boy to commit himself to sexual purity and for a man to devote himself unreservedly to his wife. It takes great courage to say no to what this culture insists are the rightful pleasures and delights of the flesh. It takes courage to serve as a godly husband and father, to raise children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. It takes courage to maintain personal integrity in a world that devalues the truth, disparages God’s word, and promises self-fulfillment and happiness only through the assertion of undiluted personal autonomy. A man’s true confidence is rooted in the wells of courage, and courage is evidence of character. In the end, a man’s character is revealed in the crucible of everyday challenges. For most men, life will also bring moments when extraordinary courage will be required, if he is to remain faithful and true.

13. Biblical maturity sufficient to lead at some level in the church.

A close look at many churches will reveal that a central problem is the lack of biblical maturity among the men of the congregation and a lack of biblical knowledge that leaves men ill equipped and completely unprepared to exercise spiritual leadership. Boys must know their way around the biblical text, and feel at home in the study of God’s Word. They must stand ready to take their place as leaders in the local church. While God has appointed specific officers for his church—men who are specially gifted and publicly called — every man should fulfill some leadership responsibility within the life of the congregation. For some men, this may mean a less public role of leadership than is the case with others. In any event, a man should be able to teach someone, and to lead in some ministry, translating his personal discipleship into the fulfillment of a godly call. There is a role of leadership for every man in every church, whether that role is public or private, large or small, official or unofficial. A man should know how to pray before others, to present the Gospel, and to stand in the gap where a leadership need is apparent.

I’m reproducing Kieth’s article on my blog before it vanishes offline

Tackle The Macho Myth – Book Review

Sydney Morning Herald

Saturday January 26, 2008

Keith Austin

A book targeting young men aims to raise the bar.

A DECADE or so ago in a local soccer match, a goalmouth scramble resulted in the ball possibly trickling over the line before it was quickly “cleared”. Despite vehement protestations from the opposition, the referee came down on our side – until one of our players owned up that the ball had, indeed, gone over for a goal.

At half-time, for his honesty, the player was roundly and profanely abused by his teammates for not keeping his mouth shut.

Today that event comes more and more to mind as I watch footballers cheating as a matter of course. We watch overpaid morons screaming bug-eyed and red-faced at the referee, we watch them making vicious, career-ending tackles and then protesting their innocence all the way to the dressing room, we watch them throwing themselves to the ground at the slightest touch in order to fool the referee into giving a penalty or getting someone sent off.

I can only marvel at the strength of character that enabled my fellow player to stand up for what was right, knowing full well what the reaction would be.

There were 11 of us on that field that day – but who was the real man?

Let’s be honest; it’s getting a tad ugly on and off the sports field with the likes of the Canterbury Bulldogs, Ben Cousins, Andrew Johns, serial text pest Shane Warne and the Western Force’s quokka shocker while “bonding” on Rottnest Island.

Notice anything? Here’s a clue: somehow, when the Australian women’s netball team defeated New Zealand in Waitakere in November to win the world championship, captain Liz Ellis somehow managed not to celebrate by taking the girls out for a drunken kiwi-kicking contest.

Yes, it’s the blokes at it again, indulging in what Pip Cornall, men’s advocate and author of a new 32-page booklet, Kicking A Goal For Masculinity, believes is a crisis in sport aided and abetted by the damaging Australian trifecta of machismo, misogyny and booze.

Cornall, an Australian whose working life so far has included stints as a PE teacher, ski lodge owner, whitewater rafting and outdoor adventure expert and mediator with the United States Department of Justice, says part of the reason for writing the book was the reaction he got from people overseas.

“What I would call outmoded or Neanderthal male programming has a very strong grip on men in many other countries, too, but I was surprised, in my 12 years living overseas, at what people thought of Australians,” he says. “They would come out with stuff about us being macho, about the misogyny. I’ve heard a lot of women in my life say, ‘I wouldn’t marry an Aussie man’, and that hurt because we’re a wonderful race and we’ve got so much to be proud of.

“But every culture, every individual, has an ugly side, a shadow side. I’d like to bring that out, put it on the table and look at it. Especially with regards to sport.”

“In the past,” Cornall writes in the introduction to his book, “our young people had numerous sporting heroes to look up to – men and women who were positive role models. In recent decades, however, an ugly side has emerged with sledging, performance drugs, violence, sexism, sexual assault, domestic violence and racism impacting many sports.”

Confusion about what makes a “real” man is at the heart of the problem, Cornall says. The language of sport, he believes, is “hard and filled with insults suggesting that a boy who is not tough enough, who does not live up to the masculine mystique, is really a girl or homosexual – the language heard by young boys underpins many male attitudes”.

This, and constant reinforcement that being a big drinker makes you a real man, he says, is part of the pressure diet fed to young boys and which in turn leads to young men who have unhealthy ideas of masculinity.

Cornall is a tall, fit, clear-eyed 61-year-old who is every inch the image of a man for whom sport and the outdoors has been a lifelong love and challenge. He could be compared to the famous Australian outdoorsman Paddy Pallin – and you suspect that deep in one of those trouser pockets there is a Swiss Army knife and a compass. In the book, Cornall writes: “I was a physical and outdoor education teacher and have made an exciting life in those fields. But as an Australian male and sportsman I had some bad habits. It took years of work to re-invent myself as a man with positive qualities, therefore I am keen to share what I’ve learned, and highlight the benefits of the changes I made.”

In person, he adds: “I wouldn’t be able to die with a good conscience unless I spoke about the things I’ve seen … as an elder, moving on in years, I know how hard it is for a man to live a good life, to be a man. I know the pull to the dysfunction, be it drugs, alcohol, gambling.”

One sportsman quoted in the book is 27-year-old Adelaide Crows player Kris Massie, who says a turning point in his early career with Carlton came when an older player told him he didn’t always have to drink with the boys. “I had become swept up in the pressures of the drink culture at the club … all part of the mateship ritual.

“My opinion is that the culture is now slowly changing and I love being part of it,” Massie says. “Within the club in the last few years we are witnessing a new breed of men who aren’t afraid to express how they really feel instead of being bullied into believing they must drink to be accepted. I found it incredible how much influence a macho football culture can have on young aspiring athletes and men.”

In common with Stephen Biddulph, the men’s movement stalwart before him, Cornall believes it’s time for a change. He has been in contact with the Australian Sports Commission in a bid to spread his message through workshops with local clubs.

Before he leaves the interview, he reads out a quote from American Alex Karras, a former gridiron player, wrestler, actor and writer: “It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more manhood to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.”

Kicking A Goal For Masculinity is available from http://www.malechallenge.com or as an ebook

In the unfolding human story the future remains for us to write—or close the book once and for all.

What have warrors got to do with our unfolding story? Well I decided to write this article because in certain sectors of our society soldiers cop a lot of flack (excuse the pun) and this hurts like real bullets—it hurts because soldiers have feelings too.

My point is that humanity no longer has the luxury of war—we are too powerful for that.

“Perhaps it takes a whole society to raise one violent boy,” says Male challenge (formerly sustainable-masculinity) advocate, Pip Cornall, who, after more than two decades working to prevent violence in the USA and Australia, is appalled by the rising youth violence showing up as teen gangs, homicides, teen porn, those damaging large group parties, vandalism, drugs, burglary, violent and sexist music. You’ll notice these behaviours almost always involve boys and young men—it’s a male thing, but it is a male thing that is growing.”

“In the past Australians could not have imagined the vicious attack by 25 youths on a family playing cricket on the beach—an attack which resulted in the death of William John Rowe, killed with his own cricket bat, and the mutilation of his son-in-law to be. Some of the youths charged were 14 and 16.

Locally in Byron Bay, Bangalow, Suffolk Park, Lennox Heads and Tweed Heads packs of teens have been escalating their violent attacks and property vandalism

When asked if we can solve the problem of youth violence he replied, “Sure we can. For example, in workshops with gang members and violent teens, when we help them drop the “tough guise,” we expose a vulnerable boy with terrible self esteem. Once we identify the root causes of male violence, we can design solutions—solutions of an immediate nature, and longer term preventative approaches.”

Too often we name gang violence as youth crime, when, overwhelmingly, 99% of the perpetrators are male. We need to name it as that—as male violence—as a male issue. Given that baby boys and girls are not born violent and there are societies where violence is very low, we must identify what makes our young boys prone to acts of gratuitous violence.”

Our society unwittingly contributes to hyper masculinity—the masculinity that is weighted to the “tough guise.” The good news is that solutions become apparent when we understand how boys develop—when we understand that masculinity is a social construct and changes over time, unlike maleness which is biological and fixed. That is

The promotion of the hyper-masculine—big muscles, big guns, big ego, is bizarre and perhaps our society is to blame. Today, more than at any time in our history, we need men who embrace a different paradigm—big heart, big compassion, big wisdom, big integrity—these are male values that will help save our precious planet.

After he left the Northern Rivers in 1980, Pip, a former PE teacher, ran an outdoor adventure business for 12 years which eventually took him to the USA where his adventure lifestyle continued. He was a ski instructor in winter, a raft guide in summer and in between taught peer mediation in the area schools. Mediation studies opened his eyes to restorative justice programs, especially with juveniles and he eventually became a mediator in the juvenile justice systems of NSW and Oregon. In these years he also worked with gang kids in California and with men in prison.

In 2003 Pip worked with Australian Olympic athletes to reduce sexual harassment in the teams. Inspired by the ability of boys and men to make positive changes in their lives Pip is authoring of a series of short books which empower men to develop healthy masculinities. His latest book “Kicking a Goal for Masculinity” encourages sportsmen to become good role models for boys and young men and play a role in promoting better forms of masculinity in Australia and overseas.

Pip says, “Most disturbing is the number of younger boys who are drawn to gratuitous violence and destructive gang behaviour. It is a lose/lose situation that ruins lives including the lives of the boys themselves. Sadly Byron Bay has become known throughout Australia as a dangerous place and I have already met several people who have been attacked by knives and iron bars wielded by packs of boys in the Bay.”

“Thankfully, in recent years both the UN and the World Health Organisation have identified the need to address male socialising as foundational to any programs to end violence. I am glad that gender violence is being addressed. While there are many causes to gang violence, such as poverty, broken homes, media and others, girls are subjected to those influences as well, and although we are seeing a rise in girl crime, boys and young men are still overwhelmingly the perpetrators.”

Queensland’s taskforce on violence is examining 5 key causal areas including the role of alcohol and drug use, family breakdown and structure, behaviour management, group violence, social violence, and education. In America the National Campaign to Stop Violence gave questionnaires to tens of thousands of children living in violence torn cities. The children listed the ten top causes of violence in the following order:

Media
Substance abuse
Gangs,
Unemployment
Weapons,
Poverty
Peer pressure
Broken homes,
Poor family environment/bad neighbourhoods
Intolerance
Ignorance.

Perhaps it is time we listened to the children for solutions. In many of the causes listed by them there is that unnamed gender aspect again—it’s a male thing.

“I find it useful to remind myself that baby boys are not born violent and then ask the question—what happened to make them this way? When I hear the stories from the mouths of gang members I begin to understand how they got to this terrible situation.

Since society is responsible for the male teen violence it is apparent that we all have a part to play in the solutions. It is like global warming—we are all to blame and we can all contribute to solutions.

Some of the major crises of our times are:
Wars
We have just witnessed the most violent century in human history (200 million dead from war – mostly women and children) Today much of the world is on alert, poised to react or retaliate with weapons of mass destruction. Global terrorism in its multiple forms is a regular occurrence. Domestic violence and sexual assault is rampant in many countries including modern democracies.

Climate Change
We are experiencing dramatic climatic changes caused by global warming. As resouces such as food, water and even clean air diminish, more conflicts will arise.

Destruction of Nature
Nature is not something that is separate from us – it is an extension of ourselves – the trees which make oxygen are an extension of our lungs. Fred Matser often says, “The chaos in the environment is a reflection of the disorder in our minds and hearts –our invironment.” As we heal ourselves we heal nature!

Economic Inequity
Billions of people are hungry and without access to clean water. The gap between rich and poor is growing exponentially. In our times, 100 -125,000 people die daily from poverty related causes – this new trend corresponds to the widening of globalisation about two decades ago. Our current model needs to be modified so that it serves the majority. (If continued at its current rate it would represent about 1.7 billion over the century)

Misogyny
Johan Galtung, UN mediator and one of the world’s leading peace scholars, describes misogyny as a major world problem. I would agree! Misogyny, mistrust or hatred against women, shows up as in many forms from female infantacide, rape, domestic violence, unequal pay, sex slavery, deaths from wars, (women and children are becoming the prime victims of wars) structural and cultural violence.

Causes
The reasons for misogyny are multifactorial but linked to male socialization; it is suggested the deep seated attitude is so ancient it is even in our DNA – requiring specific actions to shift it. I believe it must be tackled compassionately and with courage. Misogyny is regarded as major cause of global violence.

In building respect for women it is worth reflecting on the fact that most humans spent their first nine months in a woman’s body.

Understanding and modifying our Systems of Governance and Commerce

The Dominator Model
The mix of the domination model and high technology — the nuclear, biological, and chemical technologies that threaten us and our natural habitat with irremediable harm — dominator systems are not sustainable in the long term. We are too intelligent to consider past “solutions” as options.

The economic, political, and legal sytems that have given us great wealth and technological advances have had benefits. However now they have reached their limits and the results are planet threatening; especially climate change, massive global poverty and increasing terrorism.

The Partnership Model
This model allows for the collaboration and cooperation of all humans. Partnership principles can be extended to include all life forms and biosystems – recognising that we can’t ‘dominate’ nature.

Benefits gained – as we develop our feeling function (limbic brain)
The systems men designed arose from a reductionist worldview. No blame here. Although it appears that the results were successful, we now have people who are successful in business or government, but who struggle with being successful human beings. This arises from wounded feeling functions; perhaps the key issue to be addressed in men today.

Men gain enormously as we heal that wound. A healthy feeling function gives us our sense of purpose, our values, joy and our meaning in life. The healed feeling function in men knows the true value of serving the greater good – beyond egoic behaviours which are predominantly self-serving.

Wider Benefits
Typically men who engage in this healing report that they have found themselves. These men would not, indeed could not, return to the old values and behaviours. Naturally as men benefit so do their children, their partners and their communities. .

No blame
Rather than blaming men, we can view this as a systems flaw. The new paradigm transforms the reductionist (dominator) worldview into an holistic frame (partnership).

As the author of this site I acknowledge the numerous positive contributions men and certain ‘masculinities’ have made to the world. I am passionate that men in partnership with women can meet the current and future challenges we face.

Owning My Past
I’m not proud that in my past, acting from a limited feeling function and narrow world view, I have hurt many of those I’ve loved. I have worked hard to make amends and grow my consciousness so that I might do less harm in the future. I mention this because the world needs leaders who walk their talk. I am not ‘spotless’ but strive to work with my shadow and heal my life.
The Challenge
The work is for large numbers of us to start healing our feeling function while simultaneously engaged in our respective peace efforts. Angry wounded healers do not bring sustainable peaceful solutions to the world.

Peace by peaceful means
The shadow of wounded peace workers will always destroy attempts to create more equitable systems. We have witnessed that in all the ‘revolutions’ – what is required is a collective ‘evolution’ occurring in a critical mass of people – those devoted to raising planetary awareness. This is the role that men can play, and I would say must play, if we are to collectively survive.

Partners in Peace
I have joined my work efforts with Grace Gawler to provide a balanced male/female leadership training team. We are working to raise consciousness in men and women throughout Australia and worldwide.

see http://www.gracegawler.com

What is involved? – Get off our butts! We have to do our inner work! When men are in touch with their nurturant nature – they are safer to be around and do little harm.

New Type of Male Courage – These critical times require a new type of masculinity – men prepared to clean up their inner back yards. A new type of courage is required – heart based courage. This is the greatest courage of all. Is this challenge big enough for us?

Peace is Possible – As more men work on themselves and embrace healthy male norms- we move closer to a positive future for humanity – a partnership future. Moving from macho or dominator man to partnership man requires intelligence, a big heart and courage.

Retaining the Strong Male – By partnership I’m not talking about becoming a sensitive new age guy. Sensitive yes, but retaining some, and using appropriately, those wonderful wild and strong male parts is necessary for the task ahead.

Starting Today – Why wait? I encourage you to become become proactive today. You can choose to evolve consciously; honouring women, honouring all humans, all life, and the planet. To do that we men need very clean energy and well developed emotional

Limbic Brain – It is nobody’s fault but the limbic brain is not very developed in many men. This middle brain section is where our emotional intelligence and our purpose in – it is not anything to do with intellectual intelligence. (Hitler, Stalin were very intelligent)

Benefits – When we grow the limbic part of the brain we gain meaning, happiness and we’re safer and more pleasant to be around. And it must work in partnership with the frontal brain (intelligence)

Exceptional Leaders Wanted – We live in critical times our scientists tell us. Exceptional business and government leadership is needed to deal with the looming problems. Such leaders must be holistically intelligent (limbic or emotional intelligence)

Conscious Evolution – With today’s formidable nuclear, technological, and biological power in our hands, we cannot continue to evolve randomly; we must learn to co-create in alignment with nature’s intelligence. Because men still hold the power – we need men to evolve consciously.

Evolutionary Drivers – Challenges such as global warming, increased terrorism and the increasing gap between rich and poor can be ‘evolutionary drivers’ which can jump drive our evolutionary process.

Working with, not against Nature – The good news is that nature wants us to evolve – each of us is the result of 15 billion years of R & D – each of us is unique – how are we going to use our specialness?

Your Innate Potential – In several billion years we’ve come from simple amoeba to a species with consciousness – it took a lot of intelligence to bring us to this point in history – we must now act consciously – that is possible – because nature’s intelligence is inside us!

Optimism – Surprisingly, given the seriousness of the current world crises, I am an optimist. In the course of my peace and environmental work, I am privileged to rub shoulders with some of the most inspiring people alive on this beautiful place we call earth.

Though some of the facts I present on this site appear gloomy, the good news is that the solutions are available. And… as we clean up the messes we have all contributed to … we gain our true natures..our innate potential, the power and joy within. This is because in order to save the planet we must transcend our ‘small mind and heart’ and develop a vision of a world that works for everyone – this is possible as we each do our inner work while engaged in the peace or environmental work of our passion.

Chief Seattle Speech

INTRODUCTION

In 1854, the “Great White Chief” in Washington made an offer for a large area of Indian land and promised a `reservation’ for the Indian people.

Chief Seattle’s reply, reproduced here in full, has been described as the most beautiful and profound statement on the environment ever made.

THIS EARTH IS PRECIOUS

How can you buy or sell the sky, the warmth of the land? The idea is strange to us. If we do not own the freshness of the air and sparkle of the water, how can you buy them?

ALL SACRED

Every part of this earth is sacred to my people.

Every shining pine needle, every sandy shore, every mist in the dark woods, every clearing and humming insect is holy in the memory and experience of my people. The sap which courses through the trees carries the memories of the red man.

The white man’s dead forget the country of their birth when they go to walk among the stars. Our dead never forget this beautiful earth, for it is the mother of the red man.

We are part of the earth and it is part of us.

The perfumed flowers are our sisters; the deer, the horse, the great eagle, these are our brothers.

The rocky crests, the juices in the meadows, the body heat of the pony, and man–all belong to the same family.

NOT EASY

So, when the Great Chief in Washington sends word that he wishes to buy land, he asks much of us. The Great Chief sends word he will reserve us a place so that we can live comfortably to ourselves.

He will be our father and we will be his children. So we will consider your offer to buy our land.

But it will not be easy. For this land is sacred to us.

This shining water that moves in the streams and rivers is not just water but the blood of our ancestors.

If we sell you land, you must remember that it is sacred, and you must teach your children that it is sacred and that each ghostly reflection in the clear water of the lakes tells of events and memories in the life of my people.

The water’s murmur is the voice of my father’s father.

KINDNESS

The rivers are our brothers, they quench our thirst. The rivers carry our canoes, and feed our children. If we sell you our land, you must remember, and teach your children, that the rivers are our brothers, and yours, and you must henceforth give the rivers the kindness you would give any brother.

We know that the white man does not understand our ways. One portion of land is the same to him as the next, for he is a stranger who comes in the night and takes from the land whatever he needs.

The earth is not his brother, but his enemy, and when he has conquered it, he moves on.

He leaves his father’s graves behind, and he does not care.

He kidnaps the earth from his children, and he does not care.

His father’s grave, and his children’s birthright, are forgotten. He treats his mother, the earth, and his brother, the sky, as things to be bought, plundered, sold like sheep or bright beads.

His appetite will devour the earth and leave behind only a desert.

I do not know. Our ways are different from your ways.

The sight of your cities pains the eyes of the red man. But perhaps it is because the red man is a savage and does not understand.

There is no quiet place in the white man’s cities. No place to hear the unfurling of leaves in spring, or the rustle of an insect’s wings.

But perhaps it is because I am a savage and do not understand.

The clatter only seems to insult the ears. And what is there to life if a man cannot hear the lonely cry of the whippoorwill or the arguments of the frogs around a pond at night? I am a red man and do not understand.

The Indian prefers the soft sound of the wind darting over the face of a pond, and the smell of the wind itself, cleaned by a midday rain, or scented with the pinion pine.

PRECIOUS

The air is precious to the red man, for all things share the same breath–the beast, the tree, the man, they all share the same breath.

The white man does not seem to notice the air he breathes.

Like a man dying for many days, he is numb to the stench.

But if we sell you our land, you must remember that the air is precious to us, that the air shares its spirit with all the life it supports. The wind that gave our grandfather his first breath also receives his last sigh.

And if we sell you our land, you must keep it apart and sacred, as a place where even the white man can go to taste the wind that is sweetened by the meadow’s flowers.

ONE CONDITION

So we will consider your offer to buy our land. If we decide to accept, I will make one condition: The white man must treat the beasts of this land as his brothers.

I am a savage and I do not understand any other way.

I’ve seen a thousand rotting buffaloes on the prairie, left by the white man who shot them from a passing train.

I am a savage and I do not understand how the smoking iron horse can be more important than the buffalo that we kill only to stay alive.

What is man without the beasts? If all the beasts were gone, man would die from a great loneliness of spirit.

For whatever happens to the beasts, soon happens to man. All things are connected.

THE ASHES

You must teach your children that the ground beneath their feet is the ashes of your grandfathers. So that they will respect the land, tell your children that the earth is rich with the lives of our kin.

Teach your children what we have taught our children, that the earth is our mother.

Whatever befalls the earth befalls the sons of the earth. If men spit upon the ground, they spit upon themselves.

This we know: The earth does not belong to man; man belongs to the earth. This we know.

All things are connected like the blood which unites one family. All things are connected.

Whatever befalls the earth befalls the sons of the earth.

Man did not weave the web of life: he is merely a strand in it.

Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.

Even the white man, whose God walks and talks with him as friend to friend, cannot be exempt from the common destiny.

We may be brothers after all.

We shall see.

One thing we know, which the white man may one day discover, our God is the same God. You may think now that you own Him as you wish to own our land; but you cannot. He is the God of man, and His compassion is equal for the red man and the white.

This earth is precious to Him, and to harm the earth is to heap contempt on its Creator.

The whites too shall pass; perhaps sooner than all other tribes. Contaminate your bed, and you will one night suffocate in your own waste.

But in your perishing you will shine brightly, fired by the strength of God who brought you to this land and for some special purpose gave you dominion over this land and over the red man.

That destiny is a mystery to us, for we do not understand when the buffalo are all slaughtered, the wild horses are tamed, the secret corners of the forest heavy with scent of many men, and the view of the ripe hills blotted by talking wires.

Where is the thicket? Gone.

Where is the eagle? Gone.

The end of living and the beginning of survival.

When I arrived back in Australia in 2007 I was appalled by the violence on our streets and neighborhoods.

The following are headlines collected from the Sydney morning Herald and the Brisbane Courier Mail

1. Each weekend, Australian cities like Sydney are littered with unconscious, vomiting and fighting young drunks. Binge drinking by young Australians has reached frightening levels, say police and hospital staff who struggle to stem the violence and are left to repair the wounds of victims. “We are becoming a much more violent, aggressive society. We are becoming intolerant of anything that annoys us … and hence road rage, parking rage, trolley rage at the supermarket,” says Dr Gordon Fulde, head of the emergency department at St Vincent’s Hospital in Sydney. “We are assaulting people more viciously. The violence is very, very nasty. Weapons are also involved now and the closest weapon when drinking is a glass or bottle,” says Fulde, who treats bloodied victims of drunken fights each weekend.
2. QLD STATE Education Minister Rod Welford has blasted parents for failing to socially educate their children and has ordered teachers to pick up the slack – today’s teenagers were the most “under-parented generation in our history” and dramatic changes were needed to stem bullying, drug and alcohol abuse, depression and other youth behavioural problems.
3. With the new school year just over a week away, Mr Welford has vowed to push on with a package of reforms – a move supported by the State Government’s Youth Violence Taskforce. The taskforce was set up in 2006 following the bashing death of Brisbane schoolboy Matthew Stanley at a birthday party.
4. Part of the taskforce’s recommendations included calling on the Education Department to “investigate a range of social and emotional learning packages with a view to having all Queensland state schools deliver a package from Prep through to Year 12 to encourage positive behaviour and social skills in children and young people”.
5. Shocking rise in kid crime THEY are only children but Queensland’s pint-sized criminals have been charged with more than 16,000 offences in 12 months. The revelations come as two boys aged 11 and 16 faced Southport Children’s Court yesterday for allegedly bashing an off-duty police officer and his girlfriend at Coolangatta.
6. QUEENSLAND children are getting into serious trouble at record levels, with the number before higher courts rising nearly 20 per cent in 2006-07.
7. Street crims less abusive than Gen Y – Vic police commissioner
8. POLICE need help to control a generation of young people who lack discipline because they have been given “free rein”, according to Queensland’s new Opposition police spokesman.
9. Drunken youths marred Australia Day celebrations on the Gold and Sunshine coasts on Saturday, brawling with and throwing bottles at police attempting to move them on.

10.  AFL star Wayne Carey headbutted a partition in a Miami police car after he was arrested for assaulting his girlfriend and officers in the US city last year.

11.  Violent youth gangs take control of streets – August 02, 2008 12:00am – DRIVE-by beatings and random ‘swarming’ attacks by teens armed with knives and poles are leaving a bloody trail across southeast Queensland

12.  BINGE drinking is being blamed for a dramatic increase in alcohol-related harm among young people.

13.  Youths account for about a fifth of Victoria’s population, yet they are our No.1 offender group. It’s a trend that is being mirrored in many other countries, Adrian Tame reports

14.  MINDLESS violence is becoming a fact of life for the young in our schools and suburbs as knife-wielding, pre-pubescent thugs terrorise pupils, teachers and paren

15.  Alarming rise in teen abuse of parents TEENAGE children are bashing and bullying their parents at an increasing rate, in a largely hidden form of abuse that can arise from violent role models or overindulgent parenting.

16.  Greg Bird , glassing violence

17.  Sam Newman actions were personally insulting to Wilson but grossly offensive to all women, and have implications for the AFL as well as for Newman’s employers at Channel Nine.

18.  ONE of Brisbane’s trendiest bars has banned footballers after becoming fed up with the trouble high-profile players have caused.

19.  Broncos’ latest controversial night on the town

20.  Executive director of the Australian Drug Foundation John Rogerson, said the binge-drinking athletes, particularly rugby league players, needed to be challenged by administrators.

21.  Broncos – Darren Lockyer admits to tackling Casablanca bar manager

22.  UP to 22 students a day are suspended from a school in Brisbane’s south which can’t cope with soaring levels of violent and extreme behaviour.

23.  ONE in every three boys believes it is acceptable to hit girls and many children are routinely exposed to domestic violence, according to a disturbing survey. The unprecedented survey of violence and attitudes shows one third of boys believe “it’s not a big deal to hit a girl”. One in seven thought “it’s OK to make a girl have sex with you if she was flirting”. The survey also shows one in four teenagers lives with violence at home, prompting calls for domestic violence education programs in schools. The study, which reviewed data from the past seven years, including a survey of 5000 12 to 20-year-olds, found up to 350,000 girls aged between 12 and 20 – one in seven – had experienced sexual assault or rape. Almost one third of girls in Year 10 had experienced unwanted sex.

24.  The survey, “An Assault on Our Future: The impact of violence on young people and their relationships” is released today by the White Ribbon Foundation, which campaigns to end violence against women.

25.  Violence scars kids: new study A quarter of 12 to 20-year-olds have seen an act of physical violence between their parents or step-parents, a new report says.

26.  GENERATION of Australian teenagers has been lost to binge drinking and will not be reached by the Federal Government’s anti-drinking campaign, one of Australia’s leading drug educators warns. Paul Dillon, the director of the private consultancy Drug and Alcohol Research and Training Australia, said the $53 million National Binge Drinking Strategy was having little effect on a generation of young drinkers habitually misusing alcohol. Emergency wards remain busy. Alcohol sales have held steady.

27.  Among a generation of young women who find empowerment in pole-dancing classes, drinking alcohol, and having sex “like a man”, are those who are getting really nasty. Raunch culture is becoming violent, and girl power is expressed by fighting “like a man”. Today it seems there are more physically confronting women than ever before, slapping, punching and smashing glasses into faces “like a man”.

28.  Prep students suspended for violent behaviour. OUT-OF-CONTROL four and five-year-olds are being suspended from Prep classes in a crackdown on school violence involving attacks on teachers. Education authorities say they have been forced to suspend the pint-sized problem pupils to protect teachers from being kicked, bitten and hit. The students also have thrown objects and assaulted classmates.

29.  Concerns over the role of binge drinking and the role of alcohol in our culture are clearly on the mark. But another part of the problem is an underlying cultural endorsement of the use of violence to resolve conflict, to settle differences, as well as to inform others of the importance of the tough guy role. Such endorsement is not only played out in and around nightclubs and parties. It occurs every weekend on our football fields, regularly on our highways when road rage escalates, and even in our workplaces.

30.  Woman charged over glass attack -April 12, 2009 – 10:10AM A woman has been charged after allegedly attacking a man with a glass at a Sydney pub, leaving him with injuries to his face and eye.

31.  Teachers subject to harrowing attacks by students – Tanya Chilcott May 18, 2009 TEACHERS are being terrorised by students who have assaulted them with bricks, furniture, threatened with death, spat on and held hostage. A shocking list of assaults and harrowing attacks by students on teachers since January last year has been supplied to The Courier-Mail. The list of assaults, provided by the Queensland Teachers Union, shows teachers are bearing the brunt of a current wave of violence in state schools.

32.  Olmpian Nathan Baggaley Final fall from grace: Olympian jailed over drug ring

33.  RISING violence in schools is being fuelled by parents not spending time with their children and valuing independence above discipline, child experts warn. Allowing violent video games and television to become babysitters is also being blamed. It follows the admission by the State Government last week that violence continues to rise in classrooms, with suspensions reaching shocking levels in some schools. Queensland’s Education Minister Geoff Wilson and Queensland Teachers’ Union president Steve Ryan said the rising violence was mirroring society, with schools not solely to blame.

34.  Toughest principal gets results on school violence A CABOOLTURE high school principal’s zero tolerance approach to violent and unruly student behaviour has had amazing results.

The following article addresses the Tiger Woods situation in an oblique manner.

I think Tiger’s  actions were terrible BUT – I believe he is a product of a sick society and we should all shoulder some responsibility. It takes a whole global village to allow one famous rich boy to go off the rails.

There is not a man alive that has not hurt other people in some way. I have and the best thing I’ve ever done for my ‘true self esteem’ is to go back and try to make amends for to those I’ve hurt. My soul feels very good about that effort whenever I’ve done it. My soul knows that to tell lies and have a secret life only spreads hurt and pain.

Tiger Woods has a soul and right now it is hurting and the best thing we can all do is to encourage him to do the right thing by all he has wronged. That may even mean giving up golf – at least for some time – because he will bring the ‘circu’ along whenever he plays and that is not what golf is supposed to be about.

But in his defense,  in Tiger’s case, as with many young male athletes, wealth and fame need special management skills- where were the elders?

But for now I’m going to diverge from Tiger and bring in a big picture view for males. This brings me to the  reason why I help boys and young men navigate the confusing pathway to manhood.  It concerns not only the boys themselves but the actual survival of humanity.

The current global crises that threaten us all have occurred on men’s watch—while we men were at the helm. We are not only heading towards a mass extinction but are already deep into it according to many experts. The following article seeks not to blame but to understand and propose a better outcome.

There is a gender implication to our predicament which must be understood as we seek solutions. Male led humanity is sailing in a leaky ship towards a huge waterfall. We are in the middle of a massive crisis but many people are in a trance so everywhere its business as usual while the trance inducing media continues to promote its sensationalist nonsense.

The richest countries instead of leading by example also have thousands of gangs operating on their streets while they reap the financial rewards as major arms exporters as well as peddling porn and violence movies to our young all the while hopelessly ensnared in bo-toxed narcissism and self indulgence has replaced good solid parenting or good solid citizenship. To keep sales moving upward violence is increasingly glorified in films and media. The crisis threatens our future but it can also be the motivator for massive social change. That is our choice—to heed the wake up call and call out to men everywhere.

The unattended crisis will get bigger until it gets everybody’s attention. Environmental, financial and social systems are in various stages of collapse. It takes guts and some consciousness to acknowledge the hard facts. As men we need to own that we created this problem without taking on the blame which only cripples and paralyses. We’ve been short sighted because our male programmed lens was limited. Seeing the world through a dominator lens we not only poisoned the soil and the water, we sprayed poison on the food we eat and for a finale in stupidity—we even poisoned the air we breathe.

We believed the men in charge at every level who told us that it would be ok because they too needed to believe the lies they peddled—in a hierarchal system they were punished if they dissented. I heard these men state that poisonous sprays are ok in the proportions we are using—she’ll be ok—a little bit won’t hurt. They end up as clients in my partner’s cancer healing practice (Grace Gawler)

It’s not our fault but to move forward we must escape from the small box we have been conditioned to live in. As men we were programmed to see the world through a narrow lens—Darwin, the church and many others saw to that. Women who suspected otherwise were simply made wrong and were ‘silenced’ through fear or violence. Darwinism proposed a survival of the fittest—a dog-eat-dog world but today the new biologists speak of the survival of the co-operative. As men we now have a huge role in fixing the problem and to do that we need to wake up and then wake up more—a mass wake-up might save a mass extinction.

The current predicament was predictable. For over 40 years our canaries in the coalmine, the leading thinkers and scholars on social and environmental issues, have warned of the impending situation. Most of us weren’t awake enough to listen—we trusted the men in charge—they saw to that. While there is no joy in being righteous this must be a warning. Perhaps we should be looking to some of these canary people for solutions.

These are the consequences derived from what some call a dominator system of social organisation! The solution lies in adopting a partnership worldview. Everyone and every thing is connected or partnered to everyone and everything—it just doesn’t work for everyone and everything to be trying to dominate everyone and everything.

The dominator systems arose under male leadership and although it achieved many great things a dominator paradigm will now destroy us. Before the cries of ‘male-bashing’ arise let me say that this is not about one gender being superior. It is currently true that men perpetrate 90% of the violence in the world—but that figure is shrinking as violence by females rises.

Sadly, on the heels of one of the greatest social movements ever, the women’s equity movement, the ‘dark’ side of females has surfaced. Witness the vile crime of glassing by young women of women in Australia, witness the numbers of young girls joining gangs and perpetrating horrendous violence—witness the plethora of violent women in movies. All humans of all genders have a ‘dark’ side and this is evident as we awaken. Carl Jung has warned us for decades. Just as males need to reclaim their humanity so too do females—in this way we build a healthy masculinity and femininity—gender programs which are appropriate for the time we live in.

But I’m a man and I’m happy that a new male consciousness is beginning to take hold as more men adopt the partnership paradigm.

That is the big picture reason for why I strive to help young boys become good men.

Solutions:

Einstein said we can’t fix a problem with the same level of consciousness that created it.

Raising consciousness in males is therefore a sensible solution!

Since it unlikely that all the males in leadership positions will attend a consciousness raising workshop we have to educate them.

But first we have to work on ourselves!

The Male Challenge is my contribution to that effort.