Malechallengemedia's Blog

Exploring the male shadow is essential work. Time and again I’ve seen groups who worked for peace, all motivated and with good intentions, torn apart by the ‘disowned’ shadows that have been brought, unsuspectingly to the group.

In juvenile prisons and my work with men, I’ve stated that under the ‘masks’ of macho or bravado that most males wore, was a frightened and insecure little chap with terribly low self esteem. These are the parts we don’t want to own. Ironically exploring or going into our ‘shadowy’ parts can put us in touch with an authentic self. That is one entrance into male shadow play.

If we can accept that we have a ‘hairy monster’ lurking in our inner depths as Men’s leader, Robert Bly suggests, then we are on the path to retrieving our inner angel – a being of unlimited love and acceptance. We can also free up lots of energy and become truly alive.

The Leunig cartoon says it eloquently in the following clip…

Good ole Aussi cartoonist, Michael Leunig, has done it again. Actually much more than a cartoonist he is a master large group therapist inviting us to accept all that we are – including the ‘dark’ and scary bits of our life.

Our hero feels like a bit of a ‘loser’ and the seemingly self confident macho Aussi male tells him to ‘get a life.’ It’s a cruel taunt that many of us have been subjected to.

Actually, in my work with males in Juvenile prisons and other settings, we commonly witness that the seemingly confident  ‘macho males’ are not as ‘solid’ as they seem once the ‘masks’ are taken off.

That of course is one place the real man is found – under the masks many wear.

I’ve never met Australia cartoonist Michael Leunig but I feel he knows me very well – I feel he knows men very well – especially the shadow side of men which is rarely spoken of but urgently must be explored.

So to honour Michael and his contribution to male shadow play I’ll be posting some of his videos in my future blogs.

The smell of doom and gloom

The following is one of his many poems – aptly describing me (and many men I know) on my/our darker days. I’ve not known many women who were like this.

I wonder why?

When I awoke this morning exhausted from my rest a demon dark and terrible was sitting on my chest.

He pinned me to the mattress and seized me by the head he pressed his knees against my heart and overturned the bed.

He dragged me to the mirror and showed me my disgrace then took a razor in his claw and dragged it down my face.

Some faded rags he bound around my shoulders and my hips and poured a cup of steaming muck between my faded lips.

And then he took those wilted lips and in his evil style he paralysed the corners up into a pleasant smile.

A masterpiece in wickedness this last sadistic joke he sends me out into the world a smiling sort of bloke.

Whilst I abhor road hoons – in fact I abhor any behaviour by young men that endangers others – I am very unhappy our government has resorted to using a well known sexual innuendo in order to shame young males into better driving and therefore reduce the road toll. I’m talking about the roadside billboard featuring a beautiful woman holding up her ‘limp’ little finger with it’s subliminal message! Read More…

My website and package, ‘ The Male Challenge’ asks males to adopt new and lasting (sustainable) male codes of behaviour

Some years ago I coined the phrase Sustainable Masculinity…what is it?

SUSTAINABLE MASCULINITIES are healthy male norms, beliefs and behaviours which promote peace and environmental healing at individual, community and global levels.

A quote by Alex Karras encapsulates what Sustainable Masculinity is about. Karras was a famous US footballer who played with the Detroit Lions in the 60s and 70s. He was also a professional wrestler, actor and writer, starring in Blazing Saddles and TV sitcoms.

He said: “It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more “manhood” to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.”

Unfortunately some aspects of the hegemonic or hyper masculinities promoted today in the media, politics, commerce and sport are very unhealthy.

But with education, in each male, they can be indentified and transformed. The old societal model, the power-over model, grew from a male-dominated-warrior-mindset and is NOT SUSTAINABLE in our current nuclear/technological age.

• Masculinity is a social construct – a collection of norms which impact the way boys and men think and act
• Masculinity changes over time and from culture to culture
• It varies from sub-culture to sub-culture (football to ballet)
• Masculinity it is different to our maleness which is biological and fixed
• Therefore masculinity can be continually modified as appropriate
• There are always positive and negative forms of masculinity.
• The male challenge asks males to identify and transform negative masculine beliefs and codes and therefore behaviour

The following is said, not from a place of blame, but from identifying a need for positive change. It is true many men have made wonderful changes and many play a part in spreading healthy masculinities. However, today, right now, ONE GENDER; MALES, are responsible for most wars, rape, domestic violence, gang violence, sexism, racism, pornography, sex trafficking, misogyny, vandalism and burglary.

The UN now acknowledges that for women to be safe and for violence to cease, we need to make significant changes to the concepts of masculinity.

“Ideally democracy is meant to be a partnership model of society- one which values women’s rights and promotes racial equality. Unfortunately we have a situation today, where many of the old masculine beliefs and behaviours are embedded in our belief systems and actually work against the ideals of democracy and equity.” – Pip Cornall

With conscious and informed choice we can reinvent or re-construct masculinity, designing models that empower men, women and children.

Because men have traditionally made the decisions, in commerce, family, community and government, the old model had little input from women.

The old model lead to war and environmental destruction – the theme – dominate others – dominate the environment. The assumptions and beliefs of the model are not sustainable in today’s world.

Solving today’s complex issues requires a new societal model – the partnership model which gives women and men equal input.

Knowing we can’t dominate the environment the partnership model seeks a healthy relationship with nature.

In the partnership model, male identity is not equated with domination and conquest-be it of women, children, other men, other nations, or nature.

These new male norms will help us in conflicts by embracing co-operation as a solution.

For more study material see www.pipcornall.com